September 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008 Journal Excerpt

Home again home again, rejoice! We arrived home from Raw Spirit Fest in Sedona on Thursday. Well, my September period has come and gone. This time it arrived just as I was going to get up on stage to announce the next speaker (David and I were MCing one of the presentation stages) and I realized I couldn’t or I would be in tears again. My dear husband covered for me, and no tears were shed this time!

Among the many inspiring presentations that we listened to, my favorite speaker this year was Brigitte Mars, who I went to listen to as much as I could! One of her talks was on the subject of color therapy, and I asked her about colors for fertility. She said: Walking in full spectrum lighting (sunlight), eating nuts and seed (full of fertility and life force!), wearing an acorn in a medicine bag round your neck (strong life force in an acorn, the acorn creates the oak tree!), eat watermelon and chew the seed, ORANGE, eat orange foods, eat seaweeds and dark colored foods (high in minerals)

(I do all of these things already, apart from wearing an acorn and chewing watermelon seeds, and so I left feeling very joyful and fertile.)

Sedona was magical as it always is.


Back on Salt Spring Island, I have spent most of the day in the kitchen dehydrating tomatoes, pears, plums, and making delicious raw rosemary onion rings. We are still getting lots of blackberries from the bushes.

We have the woodstove going today for the first time this year. I can tell I am going to have a magical winter in this house.


September 3, 2008 Journal Excerpt.

Thoughts on conceiving:
Making love is all brand new since making love to bring our child into the world. We began in June, shortly after arriving on Salt Spring Island after moving from Arizona after our 2008 Global Juice Feast. We Juice Feasted from March through May, and as planned, began to pro-create!

The first time it was magical…as though I had just made love for the first time in my life, a loss of virginity, an acquisition of womanhood. A large part of my thinking goes to our children, to pregnancy, to birth. I am aglo to be part of such a magnificent creative process, to be part of the miracle of life.

It has been a joyful fantasy for as long as I can remember, to be a mother, to give birth to my children. Being such a big strong dream of mine, getting pregnant can also bring up one of my biggest fears: that we will not be able to conceive. Instead of dwelling on how tragic this could be for us, I am in complete trust that life can and will flow through us in whatever form it needs to. Our bodies, hearts and minds are strong and healthy, and many things from them will be born.

In June my period was late, my breasts large and sore, and we bought a pregnancy test kit in excitement. The result was no baby. A few days later my period arrived.

In July my period came on time but was so light that I though perhaps I was pregnant. But then about five days later I bleed again.

In August my period was again late, along with sore, swollen breasts. I had moments of certainty and excitement about being pregnant. But no, the day we began our drive down the Living Light Expo in Ft. Bragg we stopped in Washington to get an oil change and as we were sitting there waiting I felt the pressure in my lower back that I get when my period is going to arrive soon. I told David I had felt this, and tears began to roll down my cheeks, right there in Jiffy Lube! It was such a physical sadness I felt, to not be pregnant. Then I cheered myself up saying perhaps I was in fact pregnant…but later that day I got my period in a musty hotel room on the foggy coast of Northern California. I got my period and I just could not stop from crying. I didn’t know I could feel so sad at a period…but by the next morning I was again happy, myself and my husband assuring me that conceiving a life will happen when it is meant to.
K on the beach


My dear child, I know you will come at the time you are meant to come, you are welcome when ever you are ready! We are already deeply connected my darling and I know my willingness and eagerness to meet you are signs that the time will soon be right. Your arrival is happily anticipated, and I am honored to welcome you and hold you in my womb.

Hello and welcome to my blog!!

I hope you will enjoy reading little snippets of my journey to motherhood!

For most of my pregnancy, up until week 24, I felt very private and personal about the all of the magical and intimate changes happening in my body and soul. All of the entries before March 2 have been taken from my personal journal to be posted here in bits and pieces now that I am once again feeling social here on the Internet. Although I am excited to be back, I am very glad that I honored the time of introspection, respecting the intimacy of a new being growing in my womb! I plan on creating many more times in my life like this..with the next time I imagine being quite soon, once the baby comes out to play!


With love,