October 2008


October 30, Thursday Journal Excerpt

Week # 6

I’ve felt tired, weak, and nauseous all day today. I don’t feel like I’m eating enough but nothing appeals to me, I don’t really want to eat yet I feel hungry and dizzy so I know I need food. I waited too long to eat this morning and felt like I couldn’t even stand up, David had to make the Green Juice!

In happy news, Mom called today to say that she and Brad (her husband) have talked about us staying in the cottage for the birth and it is a YES!! Hooray! When ever I think of giving birth there it is all white light. While nothing is set in stone and we will see how the pregnancy progresses, I feel that to give birth in a cabin on a mountain on an island would be amazing.

I’ve been reading books today that sent me into feeling like I am not nearly “on-top” of things with being pregnant! Many of the books suggest finding a midwife or doctor while you are still in the conceiving phase, certainly as soon as you discover you are pregnant, and I haven’t even been to see anyone yet! My mom put it all to rest in her gentle way, telling me that she didn’t go to see a midwife until she was three months pregnant with my brother Joe, and that yes, she felt exhausted too when she was pregnant. I was also worrying that I was not eating enough, and she told me a story of some friends of my Oma and Opa who for most of their first pregnancy were living as refugees with very little to eat, and towards the end of pregnancy traveled by boat form the Philippines to Canada where they gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, intelligent little girl.

Ah, so good to have things put in perspective!

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October 28, Tuesday Journal Excerpt

Week # 6

We called Dad, Constanze, and Finnerty today over Skype to tell them we are having a baby. Dad could tell as soon as he saw us, over Skype!

After listening to us gushing about the news, Dad offered for us to rent the upstairs suite of his house. So, it looks like we will be moving again in a month!

I feel that this is the right thing for many reasons, lower rent, close to family, big garden, better choice of midwifes, close to Café Bliss, close to the pool….it makes sense on many levels. Simplifying with a smaller living space really appeals to me too. I enjoyed moving into this big house at first but I find we don’t use much of the space anyways!

Yes, it feels right. My only sadness is moving away from my Mom, but we will make sure to come and visit often. We are also going to ask she and Brad about renting their cottage for the birth….how amazing that would be! A Salt Spring Island born baby! It would be a powerful place to be born, up on the mountain on an island in the northern Pacific.

With the economy going for such a crash right now it feels good to be living together with family and supporting each other. Family really is the most important thing and I feel so blessed to have such an amazing situation.

I just shared with David that a part of me is afraid that moving back into my dad’s house will be my failure. After discussing Fusion-Disassociation-Differentiation-Integration, he helped me to see that I am integrating back into my family in a healthy way as an affirmation of life, love and wisdom. I am choosing to live simply, close to loved ones!

October 26, Sunday Journal Excerpts

Week # 6

Woke up late, sleeping LOTS!! This must be a good thing.

We went over to visit with mom and told her “We’re having a baby!!”

I had been visioning how much fun it would be to tell her, and I was not disappointed! She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and so did both, and David and I got all teary eyed too. She kept looking at and touching my stomach, saying “Oh little baby!”

We spent the day, very happy day, visiting, eating, drinking tea, calling Brad (my mom’s wonderful husband) to tell him, going on a beautiful sunny walk, looking at all of mom’s childbirth books, and finishing the day by watching “To Kill a Mocking Bird”

We had also called Heather so that she could be there with us through the phone lines (Heather was the first person we told, and so she already knew.) Mom said to Heather “Aren’t you already so in love with this baby!?”

Heather replied yes, and said that every morning when she wakes up and remembers about the baby she feels so happy, and if she is having a hard moment she just thinks of the baby and feels better.

It is such a joy to share this happy news.

True Love. “Why do people have children? Because they want love to be so loud and present in their lives they can’t ever ignore it.” ~Shazzie

(I felt queasy pretty much all day today, though only mildly.)

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Mom giving the baby a first kiss through the belly, before the baby was even as big as a piece of rice!!

October 25, Saturday Journal Excerpt

Week # 5

Much better, happy energy today. Our friend Bronson of Best Ever Productions created a Café Bliss video that was posted on Facebook where I found it this morning. Heather sings a song in the video and it made me all teary as hearing her singing often does, I am so proud of her! I was humming the song all day and it made me feel really happy…a little bit of bliss, in my day, every day!

I felt more morning sickness today than I have yet and didn’t really feel hungry all day.

October 24, Friday 2008 Journal Excerpt

Week# 5

I have been feeling so painfully LAZY and un-motivated to do anything~ like a hibernating mother bear (could pregnancy really be making me feel this tired? Perhaps I am not feeling lazy, but tired!)

So, my mantra for tomorrow is “I am fully energized and love to take care of things. I am energetic and motivated!”

(I soon learned to embrace the different pace of pregnancy, learning to respect all the hard work my body was doing to build a placenta and whole new little body. I learned to respect the slower pace the rest of me wanted to move at while all that interior creating was going on. I read somewhere that pregnancy is like running a marathon every day!!)

October 23, Thursday 2008 Journal Excerpt

Week #5

GVJ = Green Vegetable Juice!!

I am having another “I can’t believe I am pregnant” day. I am grieving my small breasts, my changing body, my maidenhood soon to become motherhood. My breasts feel so big and swollen already, how can they possibly get bigger, they will burst! Yet I know they, and my belly, have just begun to swell…

I had a green smoothie (Spinach/strawberries/banana) for breakfast that made me feel mildly nauseous. Then David and I went out for a walk in the sunshine and I felt better. Just had some green juice (red leaf lettuce/cucumber/celery/bok choy/ parsley/ fennel/ carrot/ apple/ ginger) which always makes me feel wonderful.

(During my first trimester of pregnancy, green juice was the only way I could stomach greens. Salads and green smoothies turned my stomach and made me want to run away from them. Happily this aversion ended with the first trimester and the end of month number three saw me fully enjoying green smoothies and salads again.)

green juiceDrinking GVJ during the 2008 Global Juice Feast

October 22, Wednesday 2008 Journal Excerpt

Week #5

I feel like I am settling into being pregnant, not such a new overwhelming thing.

I feel so much love for David, I am an open faucet of love!

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