December 2008


December 17, Wednesday. Journal Excerpt.

Week # 13

Well, it has been a few weeks since I wrote. We are very happy in our new home, but I am still trying to get used to these lower levels of energy, drive, motivation, and inspiration. I keep thinking “I don’t feel like myself,” and then try to replace it with “I feel exactly like my glorious pregnant self!” I said the other day that I felt like a creative void, as though any creative energy had disappeared from me with a flash of magic. My Dad replied:

“What if you are engaged in the most creative act possible? Creating a new being!”

Of course! A much better way of thinking about it, and it is as though every last bit of my energy is going towards the wonderful event of baby building right now.

I woke up this morning feeling not so positive, feeling mad about all the things I am not doing and think I could/should be doing. So, I wanted to focus here instead on all the wonderful things I am doing!

Beautiful and Wonderful things I do for Baby and Me:

~  Have a green smoothie every day

~  Take folic acid, Vit. D, Vit. B12

~ Vitamineral Green (this is what I took in place of a pre-natal vitamin supplement)

~ Drink raspberry leaf tea and nettle tea

~ Get lots of rest

~ Go for long walks

~ Stretch and do yoga occasionally

~ Cuddle

~ Spend lots of quality time with friends and family

~ Read about pregnancy and childbirth

More Beautiful and Wonderful things to do when I wish:

~ Do yoga more often and walk more often

~ Swim (by the end of my pregnancy I was swimming 3-4 times a week)

~ Sew comfortable clothes

~ Meditate

~ Do kegels more regularly

~ Accept dreaminess and appreciate pregnant energy

~ Journal more often

Yes, of course I am having a beautiful pregnancy. I feel much better now, hey, it is OK that I took four days to go get the laundry from the basement and that I had to put “go get laundry” on a to do list to motivate myself to do it! I am pregnant! I am going to enjoy this time and trust that my edge and creative (mental) flow will return.

We watched a movie with Finn while also watching the snow fall outside. A beautiful day.

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December 2, Tuesday. Journal Excerpt.

Week #10

Today is a very special day, today we got to hear our baby’s heartbeat!!! Oh sweet dear little big heart, how much I love you! What a magical experience, I will never forget it, hearing my child for the first time. Both David and I had eyes full of happy tears.

We are all moved into our beautiful new castle in the sky and we love it. I feel more excited than I’ve ever been to be here in Victoria, this city really seems to have come alive in the past few years since I’ve been away. A lot of new, hip, creative energy and happy, shiny people filling the streets. And of course I am adoring being so close to my sisters, and Dad and Constanze. It also feels so good to be living in a small space again, I love being in a cozy womb of books, flowers, and love.

Here are some pictures of our little home! (click on me)

We had a first meeting with a midwife today (we met with three different midwifes before choosing one) and it was wonderful to sit and talk birth and babies. It makes it feel so much more real, being pregnant! It was at the end of our meeting that the midwife, Uta, offered to listen for a heartbeat. She said that at this stage there is a 50/50 chance that we’d be able to hear the little one. So I lay down on her couch and pulled up my shirt and immediately when she put the Doppler to my stomach we could hear it loud and clear! Uta said “Oh, this one certainly isn’t shy, its come right up so we can hear it.” We could also hear other sounds that she said were kicks, an active baby too, it kicked four times while we listened. She also placed the Doppler so we could hear my heart beat, twice as slow. I have two hearts beating in my body right now, AMAZING!!

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Photo by Ashleigh