March 13, Friday

Week #25

Our flight went as smoothly and happily as possible and we were very glad to have no trouble at the border. Once you have had difficulty in crossing, you are always a little wary of those borders, despite your best efforts at positive thinking!

Pregnancy has brought out the worry wart in me though, I must say! I have never been worried about flying, and with this flight I started worrying about it the night before we left! I was even worried about taking a cab to the airport….my inner worry wart telling me I should just stay put, not be so adventurous, STAY HOME!!! it told me. It is amazing the shift in conciousness that happens when another life is in your hands. Luckily I am able to tell when my concern is ligitimate and when it is not, and this was a case of over-blown pregnancy hormones, and all was well. Here we are, happy in Houston!

I think my worst moment of worry was actually once we had arrived at David’s parent’s house and we had all been sitting visiting when I suddenly realized I had not felt the baby move in quite some time. I also had the worst round ligament pain while walking between gates between flights and carrying heavy backpacks, and this caused me to worry I had hurt the baby somehow. So, when I realized I hadn’t felt it moving I almost started crying right then and there, but I put the worry aside, took a deep breath, and sent love to my baby. About an hour later, once David and I were alone in our room, I told him my concern, and just as I was telling him I felt a strong “kick” and joy flooded my body again. The baby has been its active, happy self ever since, kicking and rolling and dancing away!

It feels wonderful to be back in the US, a great opening of excitment and possibility always occurs for me when I am in this country. Even the energy in the pavement feels different here, more vibrant, more awake. We have been talking often of returning here soon, David and Baby and I, and I feel happy about that. At this point I am still feeling very unsure about where I want to live, but we have decided to put it out there HOW we want to live and how we want to FEEL where we live and trust that the WHERE will become obvious. We both feel somewhat torn between our US and Canadian families, wanting to be close to both. SUNSHINE looks like it will play an important role in our decision too, as both David and I have been greatly missing the light and warmpth of the sun during this past winter in B.C. We will see where we end up! Perhaps after all the moaning and groaning I did about moving so much as a child and promising myself that I would never do that to my own children, I will end up being a gypsy mother.

Houston is having unusualy cold, cloudy, rainy weather right now, but it still feels warm and tropical to us. It is so nice to be surrounded by fresh, green plants and flowers, to hear the jungle sounding birds, to smell the watery, earthy air of the gulf. We both pulled our our flip-flops yesterday and it felt like a celebration. More skin in the air, hooray!

Of pregnant note:

~The first thing Dennis (my father-in-law) said to me as I got off the plane was “You don’t look pregnant!” David replied with “Yah right!” and pulled my shirt tight to demonstrate the basketball sized belly.

~I was asked for the fourth time by a stranger if I was pregnant. I was asked by a  flight attendant on the plane, a man from Quebec who used to camp in -38 degrees C and snow, and I was happy that I am showing enough to be asked.

~The bed we are sleeping on here is heavenly. No jumpy legs or screaming hips or waking up in the middle of the night with an aching back from accidentally sleeping on my back (the weight from my growing baby makes my back ache if I lie on it for too long.)

~I’m still feeling really strong and healthy, no aches and pains, no complaints. Happy, happy, happy!