Second Trimester


March 13, Friday

Week #25

Our flight went as smoothly and happily as possible and we were very glad to have no trouble at the border. Once you have had difficulty in crossing, you are always a little wary of those borders, despite your best efforts at positive thinking!

Pregnancy has brought out the worry wart in me though, I must say! I have never been worried about flying, and with this flight I started worrying about it the night before we left! I was even worried about taking a cab to the airport….my inner worry wart telling me I should just stay put, not be so adventurous, STAY HOME!!! it told me. It is amazing the shift in conciousness that happens when another life is in your hands. Luckily I am able to tell when my concern is ligitimate and when it is not, and this was a case of over-blown pregnancy hormones, and all was well. Here we are, happy in Houston!

I think my worst moment of worry was actually once we had arrived at David’s parent’s house and we had all been sitting visiting when I suddenly realized I had not felt the baby move in quite some time. I also had the worst round ligament pain while walking between gates between flights and carrying heavy backpacks, and this caused me to worry I had hurt the baby somehow. So, when I realized I hadn’t felt it moving I almost started crying right then and there, but I put the worry aside, took a deep breath, and sent love to my baby. About an hour later, once David and I were alone in our room, I told him my concern, and just as I was telling him I felt a strong “kick” and joy flooded my body again. The baby has been its active, happy self ever since, kicking and rolling and dancing away!

It feels wonderful to be back in the US, a great opening of excitment and possibility always occurs for me when I am in this country. Even the energy in the pavement feels different here, more vibrant, more awake. We have been talking often of returning here soon, David and Baby and I, and I feel happy about that. At this point I am still feeling very unsure about where I want to live, but we have decided to put it out there HOW we want to live and how we want to FEEL where we live and trust that the WHERE will become obvious. We both feel somewhat torn between our US and Canadian families, wanting to be close to both. SUNSHINE looks like it will play an important role in our decision too, as both David and I have been greatly missing the light and warmpth of the sun during this past winter in B.C. We will see where we end up! Perhaps after all the moaning and groaning I did about moving so much as a child and promising myself that I would never do that to my own children, I will end up being a gypsy mother.

Houston is having unusualy cold, cloudy, rainy weather right now, but it still feels warm and tropical to us. It is so nice to be surrounded by fresh, green plants and flowers, to hear the jungle sounding birds, to smell the watery, earthy air of the gulf. We both pulled our our flip-flops yesterday and it felt like a celebration. More skin in the air, hooray!

Of pregnant note:

~The first thing Dennis (my father-in-law) said to me as I got off the plane was “You don’t look pregnant!” David replied with “Yah right!” and pulled my shirt tight to demonstrate the basketball sized belly.

~I was asked for the fourth time by a stranger if I was pregnant. I was asked by a  flight attendant on the plane, a man from Quebec who used to camp in -38 degrees C and snow, and I was happy that I am showing enough to be asked.

~The bed we are sleeping on here is heavenly. No jumpy legs or screaming hips or waking up in the middle of the night with an aching back from accidentally sleeping on my back (the weight from my growing baby makes my back ache if I lie on it for too long.)

~I’m still feeling really strong and healthy, no aches and pains, no complaints. Happy, happy, happy!

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January 27, Tuesday – Feb 2, Monday. Journal Excerpts

Week #18-19

Feel fantastic. It snowed this morning and it has now turned to a grey drizzle. Just got back from the pool and felt like I could charge through the water like I used to.

I celebrate my changing body, so grateful for its strength, health and wisdom. I love my full breasts, my swelling belly, my dancing baby! One of my favorite things to do is feel the baby dancing and kicking away, growing bigger and stronger every day.

On Saturday I worked 10 hours at Café Bliss for a crazy, wild, busy day, the second busiest day @ Bliss yet. Heather and I are an amazing team, we rocked! But by the end of the day I felt pretty wacked and I couldn’t tell if it was really busy or if I was just hungry, pregnant, and tired. When I did the cash out I could say YES it was busy!

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Making juice at Cafe Bliss with a 4 month baby belly!

Finn felt the baby kicking on Sunday. She is the second one to feel it besides me (David was the first.) Her whole face lit up! She is very affectionate and loves touching my belly and always remembers to say “goodnight June Bug baby!” She said the baby’s kicks felt like tingles and a little bump.

January 21, Wednesday. Journal Excerpt

Week # 18

I am getting bigger and bigger, the ravenous hunger of pregnancy seems to have finally arrived! While meditating this morning I could not stop the stream of food thoughts: Spaghetti with tomato sauce, steamed veggies, miso soup, green smoothies, pancakes (oh I really wanted pancakes!) with strawberries and yoghurt, chocolate, sesame milk, wildfire vegan pizza…..So now I am sitting here with an amazing GREEN SMOOTHIE!! (I still want pancakes though)

I’ve been gaining weight at what feels like a rapid clip. I woke up on Monday morning feeling puffy faced and just plain fat….hooray that same day I found a book that reminded me to celebrate my body from the inside rather than the outside! I am going through an amazing transformation right now that does not fit in a box. I am a yummy mummy and I celebrate the changes my body is going through on this journey to motherhood.

Wonderful things:

I have been feeling the baby move! Always when I am lying quietly in bed, little tiny bloops. I first felt them on Jan. 16, the end of week 17.

I had a beautiful dream about breast feeding my baby, and the next day as I was sitting topless in a sunny window I looked down and my nipples were leaking a clear fluid, pre-colostrum. The most amazing thing I have seen my body do yet, getting ready to feed my baby.

I discovered the Crystal Pool next door uses ozone, so I’ve been swimming again.

January 8, Thursday. Journal Excerpt

Week # 16

We went to see Uta, the midwife we have chosen to work with, lovely little blue-eyed elf of a woman with a peaceful personality and a great bio: I have been a midwife for 26 years, completing my midwifery education in 1981 in Germany and since then have attended approximately 2000 births. The midwifery care I provide is built upon my strong belief in birth as a natural process. I see myself as a professional guide accompanying women during this very intense personal experience and I am very passionate about the special services and care our ancient profession has to offer.

I am educated in classical homeopathy, traditional Chinese medicine, aromatherapy and herbal medicine for use in pregnancy, labour and the postpartum period. I registered with the College of Midwives of BC in 2006 and have been working as a midwife in Victoria since the summer of 2007.

Doesn’t that sound like someone you would want on your team!?

We all had a lovely visit and my blood tests all came back wonderfully, no disease (!), good iron, and I am an A+ blood type which I didn’t know. (NOTE: Having my blood tested was one of the two tests I had done during my pregnancy. The second was a test for GBS. Both of these tests were non-invasive and I felt that the information they provided was very useful. Tests I declined included ultrasound, gestational diabetes, and use of the doppler.) Uta had a hard time finding the baby’s heartbeat today, baby was feeling shy and hiding. We could hear it moving around a lot though, and I started to laugh, listening to all the precious kicks and jumps. We finally heard it and baby was down low on the left side. I was just now thinking about it moving all around and sitting down there and it made me feel so flooded with love. My baby is doing such adorable things already!

January 6, Tuesday 2009. Journal Excerpt.

Week # 16

Wow! 3 ½ months pregnant! I am so happy to be into the second trimester and to have left morning sickness and fatigue behind! I am feeling closer to my usual self again.

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The classic pregnant self-portrait in the bathroom mirror!

We had a beautiful Christmas with all the kids together. David and I were fully appreciating and enjoying our last Christmas without children. Next year we will be with our six month old beauty! I also realized realized on Winter Solstice that it will be another half a year before sweet baby comes out! It seemed like such a long time to wait, yet also such a glorious long time to still be pregnant.

I am really starting to get a belly. One that doesn’t disappear over night once dinner has digested. Oh and I think I am going to get a HUGE belly before this baby is born! It looks like it is going that way.

I was looking on-line at other women’s 16 week bellies and what a variety! (Check out 16 weeks on Flickr) We all grow so differently. It also made me realize how many souls are making their way to Earth right now, all kinds of different people are en-route to arrive as infants on the same day, same month, same year as the one growing in my womb. It is such an amazing thing to realize, the constant creation of life that happens here, so much new, vibrant energy being born again and again and again. I am so blessed to be a part of it.